All of our best dates end up in the emergency room.... I planned the perfect proposal. Plenty of lobster, caviar, champagne and--her favorite--tiramisu. The perfect setting. The perfect woman. The perfect everything. Dad gave me my late mother's engagement ring, platinum and diamonds galore. Of course, my Shannon wouldn't care if I slid a giant hard-candy ring on her finger instead of a three-carat diamond designed to impress. But my future mother-in-law,...

It's Andrew and Amanda's turn... in duplicate. We're having twins.Twins. Which means my shooters are stronger than my brother's. I win. Yeah, yeah, everyone can say it's not a competition, but it is. And we all know it. Two babies at once means double the fun, and double the misery for my poor wife, Amanda. While I'm growing a Fortune 500 company, she's growing two entire human beings out of nothing but orange cheese snacks and ice cream. Do you have...

"I'm thrilled to be the maid of honor in my friend's wedding, but the best man, Andrew McCormick, is a chauvinistic pig with a God complex. And I can't stop kissing him in closets. (Don't ask.) He's the brother of the groom and the CEO of my biggest mystery shopping account, but suddenly he's refusing to be in the wedding. He won't talk about it. Won't see reason. He's such a man. And he still won't stop kissing me in random closets. (Thank goodness.)...